Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Total rant update which means little

Here’s a bloke who is too busy at work, got a running program that is eating into all his spare time and then is feeling guilty for not updating his blog. I’ll give you a tip, if you want to keep people up to date, or motivated, or engaged then don’t have a full time gig and then decide you’re going to keep a blog going. All it will do is make your hair greyer than it originally was.

Pathetic intro really, but how else do I let you know that I ran a half marathon over two weeks ago and didn’t even bother to proclaim to the world my own personal achievement?

So here is a summary of the last 18 days since I last updated my blog:

  1.  Day one – (the Saturday prior to the half marathon) – went to my local ParkRun and did about as much as part time busker on  a Monday (ie. Spoke a lot, felt involved but contributed f* all)
  2. Day two – ran 21 kilometres – yep ran a whole half marathon. I could give you km by km run downs, but the support pacing crew helped me through 7 mins average per km and pulled me up early for being too enthusiastic, but let me go at the 18km mark (which was my fastest – how the hell did that happen???) and all up I finished inside the MCG doing a lap of the “hallowed turf” (what sort of term is that? Hallowed be thy name?? Sanctified, since when is an oval shape of grass a religious experience? Sacrosanct? Now seriously guys, you’ve just let 50,000 runners do a lap, so how sacrosanct is that???). All up I finished the half marathon in 2:28.58 so under the 2:30.0 I would have liked to have done, but in all honesty I had a goal of having fun, and another one of just finishing, to put a time constraint on my performance was not a smart thing to do, even if I did beat it. Rambling now – point 2 alone is going to constitute more than the whole blog update. BTW – Went to the soccer in the afternoon and felt alright until I decided I needed to stand up and walk around, geez those small plastic seats can do wonders for your legs…not…
  3. Monday – the day after – felt okay really just pottered around, might have even snuck in a few ciders – oops wouldn’t have done that as I was at work getting hammered.
  4. Tuesday – decided that if I’m going to run a full marathon then I better hop back on the bike, so went for a slow 5km run – it was slow but it felt okay
  5.  Next four days – not much bar getting the fluids back to a normal level, which probably included a few pints of brewed material, but to be honest it may not have as I can’t remember (so that probably means it did!!!)
  6.    Six days after half marathon – started to feel guilty as I had only put in a piddling 5km effort and what sort of marathon runner does 5kms per week. So went out for a quick 5km jog (actually I think this was a weak ParkRun - don't recall) .
  7. Next day – probably watched sport – might have even had a glass of wine whilst doing so
  8.   Day after – guilts kicked in, a long run is required, so pushed out a 12km slow run. Actually felt okay with it, must have been the wine the night before
  9.  Next day – nothing in gps so must have had more wine
  10. Next day a slow 5km effort after work (well I was locked down for two days in a planning session for  employer so ducked out before the whole team came breathing stale liquor into the breakfast room and did a run up some massive friggin mountainside in the Yarra Valley region. It raised a sweat so at least I wasn’t the only one smelly over the toast!!!)
  11.    Next 2 days – must have been more work, probably tossed and turned in bed all night wondering how the hell I’m going to run a marathon when all I do is procrastinate and fend off the guilt monster with an occasional 5km jog.
  12.  Saturday – back to ParkRun and for some bizarre reason the people who had paced me through the half marathon thought it would be a good idea to push me to a sub 30 min 5km run. Now don’t get me wrong here, all help is most appreciated, however I had plans for a light run as I was going to pump out 15kms on the Sunday. One click in and I’m not worried about tomorrow as I’m making sure I can keep up with a 5.45 per click pace. Earlier in my blog I wondered if I could ever break the 30 min mark for 5 kms – well if you’re slow like me I suggest you train 20 weeks for a half marathon, bust your guts to finish that and then back up 13 days later to run a personal best for a measly 5 kms. You’ll smash it. 29.35 is now my pb (remember that’s a serious runner’s terminology for “Personal Best”).
  13.   Sunday – plans for 15kms slow run out the window, still knackered from my Craig Mottram impersonation the day before
  14.  Monday – feel guilty for missing the 15km (how am I going to run a marathon if I’m too lazy to even back up for a 15km run?) so get the bee in my bonnet (even though it is 26 degrees Celsius)  and decide I’ll do a slow 16kms instead. Aching achilles, sore calves and a dripping t-shirt only 12kms in and I pull the pin. That is not the sign of a bloke who is committed to running 42kms in eleven weeks’ time, better start that meditation tape again – think I must have switched off whilst it was on.

Somewhere in all of that I spent a quick session with a couple of punters from ParkRun who walked me through these machines and weight thingies at a gym (no not at Jim’s house but more like one of those venues where you work out to improve your body image or muscles) – all I can say is that I didn’t realise I could have an aching ribcage from lifting a dumbbell smaller than a flashlight. It was approx. 1980 when I last hurt that much (I only say “approx.” as a few of those years were a blur) and that involved Johnny Lydon, beer, spittle and illegal substances.

There was also a “myotherapy” (apparently Latin for I’ll make every muscle in your body hurt and bruis like fu*k) session in there too – but I’m booked in for another one tomorrow so that’s probably another story.

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